i’m like 102% tired
*grabs my own ass* nice
i find bad jokes funnier than funny jokes
if i were a caterpillar i would probably emerge from my cocoon as another slightly fatter caterpillar
choking on a food you love is the ultimate betrayal
it’s kind of weird knowing that when you sleep, you’re just looking at your eyelids but somewhere in your brain, you are able to produce dreams as if you’re still awake.
A baby elephant sat on my friend
his face is perfect for a life alert comercial.